Farewell Seranade
by Winnett
Summary: Sirius is called off to War, but before he goes he has something to say to Remus.


Farewell Serenade

This is set pre Voldermort killing off James and Lily, but the Death Eaters have already made their move. The song Sirius sings is called The Reason by Hooberstank.

………….

The devastating letter arrived via a great horned owl early on Saturday. Although the warm rays of the sun were shining, it had no effect on the icy chill that ran throughout Sirius. The Orders detailed the positioning of the elite squad of aurors to the front lines in Romania. Sirius knew this was coming, but that didn't suggest he was prepared for it. He sat down as he read the Orders again and again, letting them slowly sink into the numbness of his mind.

He was a part of Moody's hand picked crew, comprised of the most experienced combatants as well as those who excelled at the Auror Academy. James and Remus should be going with him. Theirs was an intricate teamwork built upon years of first-rate pranking at Hogwarts. No other team was as well oiled as the machine these three had become. But he knew their situations differed from his own. He wasn't a husband and father, and he wasn't considered a dangerous dark creature by the tight asses in the Ministry. No wonder so many vampires and werewolves joined with the Death Eaters; at least they were accepted there.

Though the Orders were no surprise, Sirius wasn't ready to be shipped out just yet. The Orders called for their deployment tomorrow at 9 am. He had time. He couldn't leave with so many threads left dangling. One frayed thread in particular held his attention. He still had time.

Something hit him months ago that he had been ruminating on ever since. Sirius never was a man to dwell, but this curious feeling caused him much reflection. While he would always be there for his friends, he understood that their lives would never be as entwined as they were in school. James had Lily and little Harry, Peter had his new job at his dad's firm, but Remus… well Remus didn't have much. Perhaps his friend's lack of a steady life after school caused Sirius to feel closer to Remus, especially in the face of the Marauders' diverging paths.

Remus was discharged only days prior to graduation from the Auror Academy because of the discovery of his lycanthropy, and now the Ministry was blocking his every effort to attain a respectable job. Any time he applied for a job, he had to disclose to his prospective employers that he was a werewolf. Few companies wanted a loose cannon working for them, and that is what werewolves were, right?

'Damned Ministry,' Sirius thought to himself. 'Such fucking closed minded bigots.' Remus bounced from job to job, just trying to get by. 'Luckily there is a war right now,' Sirius thought with a bitter laugh, 'gives Remus plenty of opportunity to get warding jobs.' People were desperate for strong, protective magic on their homes, and most of the qualified wizards were busy with the war efforts. In such dire circumstances, help was appreciated from any source.

But as the thought of Remus emerged in the man's head he smiled and the now familiar warm glow within him returned. This was what he had been dwelling on. Remus made him happy. Being with Remus made him feel complete. When did Remus' role change for him? He had no idea, but he knew he couldn't go off and die without informing him. He had to tell Remus how he felt about him.

So he picked up the phone and deftly dialed the well-known number.

"Hello?" answered the familiar voice, so tired and full of an edge a younger Remus never had.

"Hey Remus," Sirius replied, his voice startling him with the shear amount of emotion within those two words.

"Sirius, what is it, is something wrong?" Remus quickly asked, misinterpreting the tone of Sirius's voice.

"My Orders came today. I am heading out tomorrow morning."

"Oh."

"Umm, I don't really want to be alone tonight, do you want to come over? I will order some pizza and we can play cards and talk about the good old days."

"Sure thing, I will be right over."

Sirius sighed, "Thank you Remus."

Remus didn't say anything for a while. Sirius wondered if he was still there, but eventually Remus just said, "I'm always there for you Sirius," and he hung up.

A stir of emotion filled Sirius' belly, gripping his chest, and he contemplated it, almost amused by it. Then he picked up the phone to call for pizza.

…

Remus and Sirius finished the pizza in record time. Sprawled on the couch, they reminisced about their days in school, where their biggest concerns were passing Potions, hexing Snivellus, and avoiding punishment. Sirius relived his moments running with Moony under the full moon. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. A pack they thought was never to be separated. Rarely together anymore, except for the full moon. They remembered being young and free and optimistic about the world and their future. They would do great things. They would inherit the earth.

"I still think we should have gone on the road with our band," Sirius claimed.

Remus laughed, a full laugh overflowing with good memories. The Yule Ball their sixth year. They had put together a rock band, even wrote their own music. McGonagall hired them for the event, trusting them to steer clear of anything raunchy. He remembered it with a vague fondness of times long faded into history. His eyes creased at the edges with his broad smile. "I can't believe you got me into those pants Sirius, all the girls, and half the boys, were staring at my ass."

"Well, you do have a nice ass," Sirius joked. But then he realized it was true and shockingly acknowledged to himself that he had noticed. He looked up at Remus, who returned his gaze with a look of interest and an edge of amusement.

Sirius quickly got up and exited the living room. Remus remained, confused and unsure. A moment later the dark haired man returned with an acoustic guitar, smiling wide. Pulling up a chair, he perched before Remus on the edge of the seat. No words were shared between the two. Remus leaned back, crossed his legs and placed an arm along the back of the couch, waiting with relaxed anticipation. He remembered that song that Sirius sang for him, about their freedom under the full moon. Expectation crackled through the air.

Sirius strummed a few cords on the well-used instrument. It wasn't quite in tune, but a few twists and plucks and the tone rung more clearly.

Since Sirius had escaped his family's grip he had always been obsessed with Muggle fads, like clothing styles, motorcycles, and especially music. Remus occasionally listened to some light rock, but rarely heard any of the new Alternative music that Sirius enjoyed. So the song that Sirius began strumming was totally unfamiliar, not the full moon song he was envisioning.

Adroit fingers plucked a few cords and the melody took form. First a little timidly, but soon with increasing confidence. Initially, Sirius looked down at his fingers as he played, but as he became more relaxed, he fixed his eyes on Remus. Remus caught his breath at the intensity of the gaze peaking through those shaggy, black bangs. It consumed him and he could look nowhere else.

Then Sirius began to sing. Tentative at first, his voice cracked ever so slightly. Soon enough his full baritone grew stronger and Remus became enthralled.

"I'm not a perfect person  
As many things I wish I didn't do  
But I continue learning  
I never meant to do those things to you  
And so I have to say before I go  
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is you"

As though filled with his entire intention and soul, the words soared through the air, wrapping around Remus. Sirius kept singing his song, singing the words he felt were exactly what needed to be said.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you  
It's something I must live with everyday  
And all the pain I put you through  
I wish that I could take it all away  
And be the one who catches all your tears  
That's why I need you to hear"

A small tear started to glide down Sirius's fine cheek as the entirety of his love, the severity of his emotions, threatened to overwhelm him. But Remus had to know. Had to know exactly how he felt.

As the final word trailed off, Sirius regarded Remus in anticipation of whatever reaction his friend might offer.

Remus simply sat there, with eyes half closed and a small smile on his lips.

Time slowly passed and Sirius cleared his throat, drawing Remus' attention. "I just wanted you to know… It doesn't say everything, but I… I have become a better person because of you Moony. I… "

A look from Remus halted the unformed words in Sirius' throat. Remus fluidly sat forward on the couch and slowly leaned toward Sirius, who was drawn towards Remus in return. Gently, every so gently, Remus settled his lips on Sirius' own, sending a shiver down his spine. The kiss was soft and tender, full of more meaning than words could ever convey.

Too soon, Remus eased back and gazed at the gaping Sirius. His shocked look shifted into a goofy, yet joyful, expression; a crooked smile blossoming on his handsome face. Love and friendship was mirrored in each man's eyes.

Now everything was said.


End file.
